Sunday, March 16, 2008

Failing Fast

I wanted a mocha. I ordered a mocha. I drank the mocha. It reawakened my desire, so a few days later I went back and had another one. One taste was all it took to rationalize it was okay to do it again. I told myself, "You didn't make a vow, you just thought you would TRY it" (the Lenten fast). 

How easy it is to fall back into old habits/sins. Craving what I can't have. My desire for more of Jesus was overridden by my desire for a physical comfort.  What's even worse, I didn't really care. I think I have a lot to learn about fasting and how to make it meaningful.

O Lord, help me to desire You above all else, to be faithful to You at all times. Teach me what it means to love You with ALL of my being.

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